Number of LetterMo Friends

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    • #2562
      Marilyn Ghere
      Participant

        I am very new to LetterMo. I would like to know if other members are like me and need to limit the number of Friends they have.
        I see that many Members have a lot of Friends, but I decided the number I can manage is 10. So far I have written a message
        explaining this this. I don’t want to click the “reject” button.

      • #2563
        Adam Yates
        Keymaster

          Marilyn, you are not alone in this! The first few years I was in LetterMo I kept my friends list pretty small as I learned how to be a pen pal and figured out my capacity. It is also perfectly fine to turn down a friendship request–on LetterMo we know that it isn’t about rejecting a person but about managing our capacity to be good pen pals.

        • #2566
          Marilyn Ghere
          Participant

            Adam, thank you very much. I was having a tough time having to say no to someone who was interested in writing to me !!

          • #2570
            Fiona
            Participant

              I’ve limited my friends list to as many people as I think I can write to this month (1 a day, but some days I’ve written to 2 or 3 people). I don’t necessarily click “Reject” because if my capacity changes, I accept more requests, which has happened a couple of times already.

              I’m not expecting every friend request to lead to a regular correspondence though, because life happens, so my writing limit accounts for that.

            • #2574
              Marilyn Ghere
              Participant

                Thank you Fiona. I am glad you replied to my post; your ways to handle this are helpful to me. Marilyn

              • #2575
                Jessica (shiiallah)
                Participant

                  To echo Fiona, I don’t always have a 1:1 “conversion rate” of lettermo friends to regularly corresponding penpals. The percentage has varied each year, but often its less than 50% for me. And that’s okay! People have different lives. And correspondence can flow at different rates in time with different pen pals, one of the beauties of letter writing.

                  Ultimately, though, you need to do what’s right for you. I was… overly ambitious this year (heh) and have a very large friends list. It’s a challenge of a challenge! But I’m doing the best I can, and I will write to everyone, even if it takes a bit longer than February proper, and I will respond to everyone who writes to me. And from there, things will flow as they do. And that’s what’s right for me this year. You need to do what’s right for you, and only have the number of penpals that you feel you can manage. And it’s not like the forums disappear on March 1st – you can continue to nurture friendships once the Month of Letters challenge ends, if that’s what works for you!

                  Do what’s right for you and take care of yourself. The rest will flow from there 🙂

                • #2580
                  Mia
                  Participant

                    I know I cannot correspond with everyone, nor am I looking for more penpals for regular letters. Regular = replying in some sort of timely manner (maybe within 2-3 months at most), keeping the correspondence going.

                    Some of the people I correspond with are occasional letter-writers, taking years perhaps to respond (but writing again in LM/Inco months). A correspondence started in 2012 but got paused can continue again in 2024!

                    This month, after a couple of years, bumped into someone I first met in 2001. We’d occasionally bump into each other either in the supermarket or on an evening stroll, nothing of a regular meet up, but still able to chat away for a few minutes… meeting perhaps on a couple of dozen occasions over the last 22 years. Perhaps it is not the ideal, but it still works.

                    With the move to the revamped website, the “old” friends are lost. I’ve been adding a few existing penpals as friends here, and I’ll probably be happy to accept friendship requests from other people I’ve corresponded with before.

                  • #2585
                    Marilyn Ghere
                    Participant

                      Jessica and Mia, It was great to get your answers to my question. My desire is to find penpals that I can have an ongoing correspondence with, but I will be very glad for short term and occasional penpals too. I now have a much better idea of how LetterMo works, thanks to all of you.

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